"Burning Down the House" was a possible choice for our senior song. The idea behind the choice was appropriate. We were a class that was close to one another, different than most, and we would be the final graduating class of Upper St. Clair High School before it would be remodeled to something that none of us would recollect, at least in a physical way. The 1970's teal blue paint would turn to dust and an oasis would replace it.
I recently had a conversation with some lovely ladies with whom I read books now. Except the last book. I didn't read that one. Yet, still I had two hours worth of talking to do through a new little hangout at Google's house. Two of these friends present, I graduated with. One other could not attend this night, but if she were there, it would make three. I was reminded in talking with them and wildly "seeing" them at the same time, that I love them dearly and that I have known them, near or far, for over twenty years. And while it doesn't seem new, it doesn't seem old either. It is oddly comfortable, even across several states. There are no expectations and there are no crickets to be heard. You can feel the lack of judgement as one or more of us have had the privilege of seeing another in overalls or a cheerleader's uniform. (For the record, I am thrilled overalls are coming back). One of us triggers a memory to which the other admits their aging brain and then somehow, one thought connects to another resulting in a conversation about our kids/husbands/partners/jobs and how we handle our 'I'm going to jump off a bridge' moments. It's the friend you haven't talked to in a year, then do, and it's as though it was yesterday you heard her voice. You are eager to hear how she's been and pleased that she feels the same for you. She's also the friend that you can have flooded disclosure and not feel like you have to be committed, and if you did, she'd pick you up and drive you to your padded room.
We have lost friends in our class. It saddened so many deeply, me included. We knew their families and had been to their houses for graduation parties and Friday night get togethers that all of our parents still have no idea about. Those who could came together and reconnected, even for a short while. I didn't fully realize it back then, but we were a little family. Some members closer to others, some history not overly discussed, but we were all there in one way or another, even if not physically.
I do not see many people with whom I graduated on a regular basis, but when I learn of their successes (which there are so many), hear about their babies being born, notice their glorious revelations or very important small happenings, I am happy for them. And it's nice because I feel that I know them. Because at one time of my life, I feel not so long ago, I spent a lot of time with these people. Unknowingly, these friends would be a part of pivotal points in my life. Thirty-four doesn't bother me a bit, but boy, did she sneak up on me.
The lesson that I will take from sweet thirty-three is that there are people in one's life who are good and there are also people in one's life who are not good. I hesitate to use the word "bad" because I try to find the good in anybody or anything. However, certain situations/people/(insert word of your choice) can bring you down, even when you are unaware it's happening. Often, we cannot rid ourselves of circumstance or specific people because of necessary attachment or a multitude of other reasons, but the difference is now, we can take the wheel in how we choose to handle these happenings. We are thirty-four (or in surrounding areas) and oh my goodness, we are grown-ups.
All in all, around this thirty-four'ish time, you become slightly tired and smart. You are settled in the being that you are, even if it's somewhat. You may have started your own family or business or are traveling to far lands or sharing your amazing talent with the world. Maybe you are working a job that you love or don't love or attending PTA meetings or perhaps playing in a band with an unruly beard. Many have fought battles and have overcome adversity in the most amazing ways. In any case, I think that these early thirties (you round up at five, right?) are a time where you realize what makes you feel good and whole and what just doesn't work for you. I think it's a good thing and that we should go with it.
So, to my family-especially my siblings, thank you for being consistent and true. I know that I am almost ten years older than the youngest, but somehow he grew up and I stayed timelessly young. My brothers and sister are in fact my oldest friends and my best. Still. And to the one fourteen months younger than me, just remember, you are "two years" younger than me for less than sixty days. Enjoy your time reminding me of my oncoming Alzheimers. I will be sending your enlarged crossword puzzles over soon. Check your mailbox. Luckily, I can walk them to your house. I am so thankful that each of you are near.
And to those of you who were a part of my upbringing in good 'ol Upper St. Clair, thank you for leaving me with hope for my own children. I hope that they have football games and socials that they'll look forward to. I hope that they will invite their friends here for me to meet so that I can get to know their little 'family' that they don't even know they're creating.
I realize that these thoughts may seem somewhat unconnected, but that little conversation that I had with these girls made me think. It made me think of how lucky I am to have grown up in a time where cell phones were a novelty item and the word Pinterest would be considered a slip of the tongue. It made me think of how much fun we had doing essentially nothing at all. Ultimately, it presented to me that the past thirty-four years have been full and rich and have truly gone by quickly. We burned down that house sixteen years short years ago. And who would have thought that I would be putting my own daughter on the school bus each morning to the same place where it all started for me.
By the way, the song that our class, the class of 1998, voted to be our anthem was a "With A Little Help From My Friends". Point taken.
I recently had a conversation with some lovely ladies with whom I read books now. Except the last book. I didn't read that one. Yet, still I had two hours worth of talking to do through a new little hangout at Google's house. Two of these friends present, I graduated with. One other could not attend this night, but if she were there, it would make three. I was reminded in talking with them and wildly "seeing" them at the same time, that I love them dearly and that I have known them, near or far, for over twenty years. And while it doesn't seem new, it doesn't seem old either. It is oddly comfortable, even across several states. There are no expectations and there are no crickets to be heard. You can feel the lack of judgement as one or more of us have had the privilege of seeing another in overalls or a cheerleader's uniform. (For the record, I am thrilled overalls are coming back). One of us triggers a memory to which the other admits their aging brain and then somehow, one thought connects to another resulting in a conversation about our kids/husbands/partners/jobs and how we handle our 'I'm going to jump off a bridge' moments. It's the friend you haven't talked to in a year, then do, and it's as though it was yesterday you heard her voice. You are eager to hear how she's been and pleased that she feels the same for you. She's also the friend that you can have flooded disclosure and not feel like you have to be committed, and if you did, she'd pick you up and drive you to your padded room.
We have lost friends in our class. It saddened so many deeply, me included. We knew their families and had been to their houses for graduation parties and Friday night get togethers that all of our parents still have no idea about. Those who could came together and reconnected, even for a short while. I didn't fully realize it back then, but we were a little family. Some members closer to others, some history not overly discussed, but we were all there in one way or another, even if not physically.
I do not see many people with whom I graduated on a regular basis, but when I learn of their successes (which there are so many), hear about their babies being born, notice their glorious revelations or very important small happenings, I am happy for them. And it's nice because I feel that I know them. Because at one time of my life, I feel not so long ago, I spent a lot of time with these people. Unknowingly, these friends would be a part of pivotal points in my life. Thirty-four doesn't bother me a bit, but boy, did she sneak up on me.
The lesson that I will take from sweet thirty-three is that there are people in one's life who are good and there are also people in one's life who are not good. I hesitate to use the word "bad" because I try to find the good in anybody or anything. However, certain situations/people/(insert word of your choice) can bring you down, even when you are unaware it's happening. Often, we cannot rid ourselves of circumstance or specific people because of necessary attachment or a multitude of other reasons, but the difference is now, we can take the wheel in how we choose to handle these happenings. We are thirty-four (or in surrounding areas) and oh my goodness, we are grown-ups.
All in all, around this thirty-four'ish time, you become slightly tired and smart. You are settled in the being that you are, even if it's somewhat. You may have started your own family or business or are traveling to far lands or sharing your amazing talent with the world. Maybe you are working a job that you love or don't love or attending PTA meetings or perhaps playing in a band with an unruly beard. Many have fought battles and have overcome adversity in the most amazing ways. In any case, I think that these early thirties (you round up at five, right?) are a time where you realize what makes you feel good and whole and what just doesn't work for you. I think it's a good thing and that we should go with it.
So, to my family-especially my siblings, thank you for being consistent and true. I know that I am almost ten years older than the youngest, but somehow he grew up and I stayed timelessly young. My brothers and sister are in fact my oldest friends and my best. Still. And to the one fourteen months younger than me, just remember, you are "two years" younger than me for less than sixty days. Enjoy your time reminding me of my oncoming Alzheimers. I will be sending your enlarged crossword puzzles over soon. Check your mailbox. Luckily, I can walk them to your house. I am so thankful that each of you are near.
And to those of you who were a part of my upbringing in good 'ol Upper St. Clair, thank you for leaving me with hope for my own children. I hope that they have football games and socials that they'll look forward to. I hope that they will invite their friends here for me to meet so that I can get to know their little 'family' that they don't even know they're creating.
I realize that these thoughts may seem somewhat unconnected, but that little conversation that I had with these girls made me think. It made me think of how lucky I am to have grown up in a time where cell phones were a novelty item and the word Pinterest would be considered a slip of the tongue. It made me think of how much fun we had doing essentially nothing at all. Ultimately, it presented to me that the past thirty-four years have been full and rich and have truly gone by quickly. We burned down that house sixteen years short years ago. And who would have thought that I would be putting my own daughter on the school bus each morning to the same place where it all started for me.
By the way, the song that our class, the class of 1998, voted to be our anthem was a "With A Little Help From My Friends". Point taken.